speaking of Self-love...

When I was 15 years old and going through adolescent hell, Courtney Love and her then most recent album, "Live Through This," were my shining stars and helped me, well, live through it. They still do. But now I've been going through midlife crisis hell... it seems, happily, to be reaching its end. At the height of my midlife crisis, I pined for the '90s. I got into things from the '90s that I didn't give a toss about in the actual '90s; like Pearl Jam... although I do like a lot of their music, and I love Eddie Vedder's solo stuff. Anyway.

Live Through This: "When you're going through Hell, keep going" --Winston Churchill

"If you live through this with me, I swear that I will die for you" --Hole, from "Asking For It" off of "Live Through This"

So, Clementine Cannibal's most recent post includes this link to things to do when you're feeling bummed. One of them is to scream along, or just listen to, an angry song. "Violet" by Hole is one of my songs of choice (I also like early Tori Amos and most anything by Diamanda Galas or The Kills.

But another important aspect of self-love that I'm trying to get better at is trusting myself. For awhile I was "confessing all my sins" or getting advice on every stupid thing I'd said or every mistake I'd made, but if I feel the need to remedy a mistake I've made or patch up something stupid I've said (which the person I've said it to probably doesn't remember anyway) It's best and easiest and do it my own way.

(Please see the post called "the self-love project" where I began this discussion of self-love.)

Soundtrack to my life... so far

DJ Trish requested more playlists, and I am delivering! The following is the soundtrack to my life... so far.

Disc One: "They said you were something in those formative years..." --Tori Amos

Like a Prayer-- Madonna
A Day in the Life-- The Beatles
Sweet Child O' Mine-- Guns'n'Roses
Heart-Shaped Box-- Nirvana (to view the video for this song, click here and scroll down to the bottom of the page)
Man On the Moon-- REM
Mr. Jones-- Counting Crows
Longview-- Green Day
Good Sister, Bad Sister-- Hole
Crush With Eyeliner-- REM
Stars-- Lisa Germano
Saturday Afternoon (Won't You Try)-- Jefferson Airplane
Ice Cream Phoenix-- Jefferson Airplane
Two Heads-- Jefferson Airplane
Buildings and Bridges-- Ani Difranco
To Bring You My Love-- PJ Harvey
Through the Eyes of Ruby-- Smashing Pumpkins
Hyperballad-- Bjork
Pissing in a River-- Patti Smith
Mr. Gallo-- Cat Power
Plants and Rags--  PJ Harvey
In Liverpool-- Suzanne Vega
Bette Davis Eyes-- Kim Carnes
Famous Blue Raincoat-- Leonard Cohen
Spark-- Tori Amos


 Disc Two: "...help me in my weakness, for I've fallen out of grace... Jesus, Jesus..." --Velvet Underground

Keep On Living!-- Le Tigre
Strange Fire-- Indigo Girls
Jesus Loves Me Like a Bird-- Rose Polenzani
Little Earthquakes-- Tori Amos (click here to donate to Tori Amos' favorite charity, the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, (RAINN) which she co-founded)
Otherside-- Red Hot Chili Peppers
Tomorrow, Wendy-- Concrete Blonde
There Is a Light That Never Goes Out-- The Smiths
Where the Streets Have No Name-- U2
Wayfaring Stranger-- Johnny Cash
The Swimmer-- Sleater-Kinney
Let My People Go-- Diamanda Galas
Fire Snakes-- Laura Veirs
Gimme Shelter-- Rolling stones
Suddenly I See-- KT Tunstall
Lightning is My Girl-- Melissa Auf der Maur
When Under Ether-- PJ Harvey
Black Balloon-- The Kills
Letter to God-- Hole
Jesus-- Velvet Underground