Dialogue On Body Image

Clementine Morrigan said: i am a curvaceous woman. i have large breasts and ample hips, thighs and ass. i also have a round and squishy stomach. thirteen months sober and healthier than i have ever been in my adult life, i am also heavier than i have ever been in my adult life. i had some trouble adjusting to this. while some of the fat on my body, such as my overflowing tits, was acceptable to me, other parts, like my stomach overflowing the waistline of my jeans, was not. feminist as i am, i was chopping my body up into pieces, thinking some of my fat was redeemable because it could be perceived as sexy, but other parts had to go. there are many things wrong with this. the first being that i was chopping myself up and not allowing myself to exist in wholeness. the second, that i was valuing my body based on its ability to be an appealing sex object. and the third, that i was denying the blatant sexiness of my round, squishy belly. fortunately, instead of declaring war on my body, i decided to work on appreciating it, and me, in all my healthy, curvy, multifaceted and squishy glory. i have decided to embrace the fat on my body rather than fight it, shame it or disguise it. in a sexist, fatphobic and bodyshaming culture, this is hard work. but it is also good, honest, rewarding work. i love myself. yes, i do. and i refuse to be ashamed of my rolls. thank you very much and have a nice day.

 

I said: I have gone through, and still sometimes go through, everything you just said. Actually, it was really empowering to me to read this, from a sister in feminism who I respect so highly. thank you so much for writing this. And-- we should se...riously talk, even if it's just facebook messages. We are so similar on this I think we could really help each other. Now, if you don't mind, I am going to share what you just said because you said some things that are so dead-on how I feel and I have not been as great as you at verbally articulating how I feel. I think part of the reason is that, since I am a feminist, I've been denying that I feel this way about my body, at least I have lately. When i was younger I was more honest to myself about hating my body, but the last time I felt seriously bad about my body, I'd been in Weight Watchers over 3 times and it hadn't work and I was like, "I know! Instead of going on Weight Watchers, I'll throw in a Margaret Cho DVD!" I think it's important to be honest with oneself that, yes, I am a feminist, AND yes, I feel bad about my body. What matters is that one does something in keeping with feminism, positive body image, and self love about how one feels about one's body, instead of keeping the feminism and the complicated feelings about one's body separate. The road to self love is a long one; it's not like you simply flick a switch and "poof!" you body image issues are gone. But going down the road is so worth it, and as I love myself more and more, reality literally changes for the better.