I’ve stopped shaving my legs for good. I know I’ve been on
and off about shaving them in the past, and even declaring I would never shave
them again before, but I literally physically can’t shave them anymore. Here’s
why.
A couple of years back, I had double knee replacement
surgery. My knees don’t hurt anymore like they did before the surgery, when I
had bone-on-bone arthritis, but there are certain things I can’t do now. Especially
since I got a fracture in my right knee in April, and overcompensating on my
left knee made that one suffer, too.
So now, I can barely go up and down stairs, and even before
the fracture I couldn’t run, jump, or—and this is where shaving my legs comes
in—sit down in a bath tub.
I used to love taking baths. I took one every day, instead
of a shower. I would wash my hair in the bath, which I hated, but I loved
shaving my legs. Now I only take showers. I’m getting used to it, but it’s
almost impossible for me to shave my legs in the shower. I cut myself up so
badly. Even with shaving cream, which I just started using again to shave my
armpits.
I used to crusade against shaving my body hair. This went
back to my teens in the 90s with my riot grrrl friends. (Riot grrrl was 90s
feminist punk that included bands like Bikini Kill, which group was fronted by
seminal, outspoken feminist rocker Kathleen Hanna.) I really didn’t see why it
was okay for guys to bare their hairy legs and armpits, but not girls. For that
matter, I didn’t see why it was okay for girls to dye their hair blue and have
tattoos and body piercings, but it wasn’t okay for us to have body hair. (I had
blue streaks in my hair for a week, and I also used to have a navel ring.) All
of this is to say that I’ve never been a devoted body hair shaver. So, it’s
strange to me that I miss having smooth legs so much, and that I religiously
shave my armpits now.
One reason is that I am now very overweight, and I don’t
feel good about my body. I shave my armpits because I don’t want to feel any
grosser than I already do. Most of the weight was gained in my 20s from taking
an antipsychotic that causes catastrophic metabolic effects. Yes, I have tried
other antipsychotics and, yes, I am seeing a dietician and have been on other
diets. All the weight loss medications I have tried have made me very ill.
I have also considered getting my legs waxed and using depilatories.
With all I’ve been through with my body, if having smooth legs makes me feel
better, I feel I should look at my options. It’s just that I’ve been removing
body hair by shaving all my life. Waxing sounds expensive, and depilatories
sound messy at best. My husband, Tommy, said depilatories work by chemically
burning the hair off. Now I can’t get that description out of my head! I care
more about me shaving than he does. He doesn’t care at all. But it is my body.
The other thing is that my leg hair is growing in a lot more
slowly and is lighter than it used to be. I am 46. Maybe Mother Nature is
letting me off the hook as I get older. Also, I bought loose-fitting, breezy
pants to wear in the summer instead of skirts or shorts. They cover up my lower
legs. So no one can see my leg hair.
I guess all of this is to say I’m trying to figure out how
much having smooth legs means to me. What I really don’t like is that instead
of choosing hairy legs, it seems to have been forced on me.
