I’m schizoaffective, making me a likely smoker, but I quit smoking 13 years ago on March 11, 2012. Let me share with you how this schizoaffective quit the habit.
Looking back on it now, I’m particularly proud of this achievement because it’s something I did completely on my own. My Great Aunt Elsie was a big help, though, because she had quit smoking many years before, and she was my biggest cheerleader. I’m wearing a ring from her right now as I write this. (It’s not the Official Smoke-Free Ring or the Unofficial Smoke-Free Ring, both of which she gave me, because they don’t fit anymore. It is the Ultimate Aunt Elsie Ring with stones of many colors, though, so that counts for a lot!)
Another big cheerleader was my boss at the church office where I worked. She had quit smoking, but she had to go on oxygen anyway. She quit when she was 48. I quit when I was 32. She said she was my future if I didn’t quit. I watched lots of Center for Disease Control (CDC) videos about why people should quit smoking. I also drank lots of Cherry Coke and ate lots of cherry mentholated cough drops in the process. So, I wasn’t really concerned about weight gain. In fact, the best advice I can give anyone who wants to quit smoking is this: don’t worry about gaining weight. What is your priority–to be skinny in your coffin?
Another soother that helped was music. Music helps everything, and it helped me quit smoking. Especially the album Biophilia by Bjork, but also songs by folk singer/songwriter Laura Veirs, riot grrrl queen Kathleen Hanna’s project Le Tigre, and, of course, Tori Amos’ song “Spark” with the lyrics, “She’s addicted to nicotine patches…” I used nicotine patches to quit so the song resonated for me. I also used a book called The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Quitting Smoking by Lowell Kleinman. M.D., and Deborah Messina-Kleinman, M.P.H.
Seriously, if I can quit smoking, anyone can! I was so addicted to nicotine. I smoked two packs a day at my peak. And let me tell you something: I coped with my auditory hallucinations (or voices) by chain smoking. Smoking was a coping mechanism for everything. Got some bad news? Light a cigarette. Waiting for a phone call? Light a cigarette. Got the phone call? Light a cigarette. Feeling happy? Light a cigarette. And on and on. Writing this is actually making me want my coping mechanism back, but I know I wouldn’t like it anymore. I can’t stand the smell of second-hand smoke now!
I still heard voices for almost 10 years after I quit smoking. I switched to drinking decaf coffee for a while, and then to drinking ice cold water and, if I was at home (or had my noise cancelling headphones handy), listening to relaxing music, like that by my girl Tori Amos or Brian Eno, or watching a relaxing movie. My favorites included a chilled out, intimate Tori Amos concert and the Disney/Pixar film Brave. Maybe sometimes I just need a feisty redheaded lass to help me get grounded--and both Tori and Merida have red hair. It remained a must to take some of my as-needed antianxiety medication to help me calm down. At any rate, a medication change of my mood stabilizer a few years ago stopped the voices for good. For some reason my mood stabilizer works for that but my antipsychotic doesn’t as much.
Three-and-a-half years after I quit, my husband, Tom, bought me a leather Pandora charm bracelet from which dangled a silver number four for my fourth anniversary smoke-free. That evolved into a rose gold bracelet with lots of charms on it. I wear it every day I go out. (Some days I never leave the condo we live in, but that’s another story.) As of this writing, we’re going to Pandora next weekend to get another charm for my rose gold Smoke-Free Bracelet. Each charm on it marks another year since I quit smoking. I called it my Quitting Smoking Bracelet for years after I quit, and a year or so ago I finally started calling it my Smoke-Free Bracelet. Just like I did with the rings from Aunt Elsie. Because I’m not quitting. I quit years ago, now. I am Smoke-Free.
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