Thursday, June 28, 2012
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Why I Did Not Participate in Slut Walk
In case you haven't heard about it, Slut Walk is kind of like Take Back the Night. It's a walk against rape, and a walk against the idea that women are responsible for getting raped by dressing like or being "sluts." It started in Toronto and went global. It was mentioned on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit last night (this may have been a re-run) so I wanted to clarify why I, as a feminist, didn't participate in the Chicago Slut Walk.
While I agree with Slut Walk's premise of being anti-rape, anti-victim-blaming, and anti-slut-shaming, I did not wish to affiliate myself with the word "slut." It's my own personal choice. Yes, I'm glad Madonna made it OK for girls to like sex. Yes, I cheer Margaret Cho on in her "slut pride." But for myself, I personally choose not to associate with that word.
Forgive me, but I thought one of the points of feminism was for women to sleep with whomever they wanted WITHOUT being called "sluts." Now, I know feminists are reclaiming the word. And it's nothing new-- feminists Kathleen Hanna and Naomi Wolf were using the "s" word over 20 years ago. But a word on reclaiming insults: only the insulted group is allowed to participate in reclaiming the word. In this way, are the Slut Walkers preaching to the choir, and alienating potential recruits? Hell, I'm on their side, and they alienated me. Another problem with reclaiming words is similar to the problem with liking a bad band or getting an ugly tattoo to be ironic: maybe others in your clique get it, but the bottom line is you're paying money for crappy music and/or have a ridiculously ugly tattoo. I also fear this is going to come back at women the same way free love came back at women: i.e., just another ploy in a man's box of tricks to coerce unwilling women into bed. (My mother tells me stories of men saying to her, "Come on, baby, don't you believe in free love?" What's next? "Come on, baby, aren't you a liberated slut?") And seriously, how do women marching down the street in fishnets and stilettos actually challenge the patriarchy?
If we're going to reclaim words, what about reclaiming the word "prude?" What about, as Robin Morgan wrote about in the introduction to Sisterhood is Powerful in the early 1970s, it being okay for women not to like sex? Or, at least, to only like it with the right person or people? What about not doing exactly what the Christian right is doing, which is centering women's and girls' emancipation and dignity squarely on who they do or do not sleep with? What about not teaching young girls that the way to be most visible as a feminist is to be "slutty?" Do we, as feminists, really want to help encourage the virgin/whore dichotomy in our culture-- which is bad enough as it is-- by being the whores to the religious right's virgins?
I'm as against slut-shaming as the next feminist. But I would rather see women and girls sleep with people they want to sleep with, for desire for those people and not so they can prove to the world that "women can fuck like men do." Also, I appreciate that this is the only kind of feminist consciousness-raising getting any appreciable visibility right now. But I think the fact that "Slut Walk" is the only visible feminism going on shows what deep water feminism is in. And as long as other feminists keep labeling their marches things like "Slut Walk," they can count this feminist out.
While I agree with Slut Walk's premise of being anti-rape, anti-victim-blaming, and anti-slut-shaming, I did not wish to affiliate myself with the word "slut." It's my own personal choice. Yes, I'm glad Madonna made it OK for girls to like sex. Yes, I cheer Margaret Cho on in her "slut pride." But for myself, I personally choose not to associate with that word.
Forgive me, but I thought one of the points of feminism was for women to sleep with whomever they wanted WITHOUT being called "sluts." Now, I know feminists are reclaiming the word. And it's nothing new-- feminists Kathleen Hanna and Naomi Wolf were using the "s" word over 20 years ago. But a word on reclaiming insults: only the insulted group is allowed to participate in reclaiming the word. In this way, are the Slut Walkers preaching to the choir, and alienating potential recruits? Hell, I'm on their side, and they alienated me. Another problem with reclaiming words is similar to the problem with liking a bad band or getting an ugly tattoo to be ironic: maybe others in your clique get it, but the bottom line is you're paying money for crappy music and/or have a ridiculously ugly tattoo. I also fear this is going to come back at women the same way free love came back at women: i.e., just another ploy in a man's box of tricks to coerce unwilling women into bed. (My mother tells me stories of men saying to her, "Come on, baby, don't you believe in free love?" What's next? "Come on, baby, aren't you a liberated slut?") And seriously, how do women marching down the street in fishnets and stilettos actually challenge the patriarchy?
If we're going to reclaim words, what about reclaiming the word "prude?" What about, as Robin Morgan wrote about in the introduction to Sisterhood is Powerful in the early 1970s, it being okay for women not to like sex? Or, at least, to only like it with the right person or people? What about not doing exactly what the Christian right is doing, which is centering women's and girls' emancipation and dignity squarely on who they do or do not sleep with? What about not teaching young girls that the way to be most visible as a feminist is to be "slutty?" Do we, as feminists, really want to help encourage the virgin/whore dichotomy in our culture-- which is bad enough as it is-- by being the whores to the religious right's virgins?
I'm as against slut-shaming as the next feminist. But I would rather see women and girls sleep with people they want to sleep with, for desire for those people and not so they can prove to the world that "women can fuck like men do." Also, I appreciate that this is the only kind of feminist consciousness-raising getting any appreciable visibility right now. But I think the fact that "Slut Walk" is the only visible feminism going on shows what deep water feminism is in. And as long as other feminists keep labeling their marches things like "Slut Walk," they can count this feminist out.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Quiting Smoking Playlist/ Mix CD
Fire Snakes-- Laura Veirs
Moon-- Bjork
Bouncing Off Clouds-- Tori Amos ("make this easy, make this easy, it's not as heavy as it seems")
Ooh La La-- The Faces ("I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger")
Keep On Livin'-- Le Tigre ("this is your life this is your time and this is your life this is your time...")
Everybody Hurts-- REM ("...don't blow your hand...")
Why-- Annie Lennox
Crystalline-- Bjork
This Island-- Le Tigre ("stop smoking those cigarettes, baby!")
Galaxies-- Laura Veirs
Spark-- Tori Amos ("she's addicted to nicotine patches...")
Rock In This Pocket (Song of David)-- Suzanne Vega
Walking On Broken Glass-- Annie Lennox
Mind Games-- John Lennon (" 'yes' is surrender... you gotta let go")
Hung Up-- Madonna ("I'm hanging up on you")
Crush-- Smashing Pumpkins
Sheikh-- Loop Guru
Don't Lose Yourself-- Laura Veirs ("don't let yourself be lost")
Moon-- Bjork
Bouncing Off Clouds-- Tori Amos ("make this easy, make this easy, it's not as heavy as it seems")
Ooh La La-- The Faces ("I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger")
Keep On Livin'-- Le Tigre ("this is your life this is your time and this is your life this is your time...")
Everybody Hurts-- REM ("...don't blow your hand...")
Why-- Annie Lennox
Crystalline-- Bjork
This Island-- Le Tigre ("stop smoking those cigarettes, baby!")
Galaxies-- Laura Veirs
Spark-- Tori Amos ("she's addicted to nicotine patches...")
Rock In This Pocket (Song of David)-- Suzanne Vega
Walking On Broken Glass-- Annie Lennox
Mind Games-- John Lennon (" 'yes' is surrender... you gotta let go")
Hung Up-- Madonna ("I'm hanging up on you")
Crush-- Smashing Pumpkins
Sheikh-- Loop Guru
Don't Lose Yourself-- Laura Veirs ("don't let yourself be lost")
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
The Return of the Goddess (To Me)
This video is called "Clementine Cannibal Talks About Being a Witch." A link to another one of her videos which is about the return of the Goddess is below.
The beginning of the following text is an email I wrote to Clementine about identifying as a witch. I know this post is a lot of Clementine Cannibal, but I'm still working to find my own voice as a witch, to figure out if I even am a witch by the perimeters I outline below, so I'll be using other people's words a lot until I'm better able to articulate this on my own.
I was raised, and to some extent still identify as, Catholic. But I have dabbled in Wicca [a form of witchcraft]. But it’s interesting, because the Catholic Mother Mary, to me, is a big manifestation of the Goddess. It’s no secret that the early Catholic church "recruited" the visage of Mother Mary to get pagan converts. But in my spiritual journey, Goddesses from other belief systems, like the Greek Hekate, the Hindu Kali, and the Buddhist Quan Yin have come to me. While I admit it’s a form of cultural appropriation, these faces of the Goddess have taught me things.
Also:
I believe that the Goddess has returned, because I've been waking up. I quit smoking cigarettes over 3 months ago, I made a firm decision to stop ruminating over the past, and I've stopped shaving my armpits without worrying that it's a contradiction that I still shave my legs and pluck my eyebrows. (My husband loves the pit hair!) For more about the return of the Goddess, please see Clementine's video The Return of the Goddess or Demetra George's book Mysteries of the Dark Moon: The Healing Power of the Dark Goddess.
I think the main reason I haven't been identifying as a witch is that I'm not into ritual magic. The best rituals I've ever done were more like exercises in art therapy, wherein the artistic process transforms psychologically and spiritually, than they were casting spells. Sometimes I think taking a walk on a balmy summer night is magical enough! (Note: partially since I am now identifying as a witch and not Wiccan, I don't think I need to perform formal ritual magic to be a witch.) Some other ways I am a witch are that I really connect with the world and nature on a spiritual level through my art, I feel a really strong connection to the cycles of the moon embodying the cycle of life, death, and rebirth (as we also see in the seasons, and in contradiction to the predominant thinking of time as linear instead of cyclical) and as far as Christianity goes I feel a very strong connection to Mother Mary as a face of the Goddess.
important q from the faq page
Do you hear voices? Do they tell you to kill people?
I do sometimes hear voices, and they certainly do not tell me to kill people! Even if they did, that doesn't mean I'd do it, because I know they aren't real. They're very disturbing when they happen, but they don't make me violent, towards myself or others.
I do sometimes hear voices, and they certainly do not tell me to kill people! Even if they did, that doesn't mean I'd do it, because I know they aren't real. They're very disturbing when they happen, but they don't make me violent, towards myself or others.
Nicotine-Stained
pillspillspillspills
pills to make you sleepy
pills to make you wired
pills to make you not hear voices..... yes
you sleep all the time
you suppress magical thinking
and wonder if it's wrong
if you're wrong
you wonder what the hell's wrong with you
are you possessed?
are the voices really faeries?
not modernly imagined, sweet, childlike faeries but old-school mischievous faeries?
When the people who are against psychiatry hear you talk this way, they say you should go off your medication
Well, fuck them
because the medication saved my life
even if it made me fat
it made me have a life
and now there's nothing left to say
I'm telling you my secret
because I'm a drama queen and attention whore at heart
even if I lock myself up in a nicotine-stained glass coffin
pills to make you sleepy
pills to make you wired
pills to make you not hear voices..... yes
you sleep all the time
you suppress magical thinking
and wonder if it's wrong
if you're wrong
you wonder what the hell's wrong with you
are you possessed?
are the voices really faeries?
not modernly imagined, sweet, childlike faeries but old-school mischievous faeries?
When the people who are against psychiatry hear you talk this way, they say you should go off your medication
Well, fuck them
because the medication saved my life
even if it made me fat
it made me have a life
and now there's nothing left to say
I'm telling you my secret
because I'm a drama queen and attention whore at heart
even if I lock myself up in a nicotine-stained glass coffin
fb note entitled "becoming a feminist"
OK, so I was 7 when in
1986 I started questioning gender roles and challenging them, but I
didn't realize that could be called feminism until I was 11 and got
really into the activism of the late '60s/ early '70s, and then when I
was 12 I (attempted to) read "The Feminine Mystique." I pretty much
considered myself a full-blown feminist by the end of my freshman year
of high school.
--the brevity of this is due to the fact that I originally wanted to put it under "changed beliefs" on my timeline, but "they" didn't "think" "a feminist" was a proper response to the field "became," so I'm posting it here instead
Maybe I considered myself a full-fledged feminist by the end of 8th grade, because the 8th grade yearbook said, in the part where they said what we'd be when we grew up, that I'd be a women's rights activist. Also, I remember this really really sad incident when I was 15 and my mom would let my brother walk around alone at night but she wouldn't let me do it, and when I asked her why, she said it was because I was a girl, and I said that was sexist and she said, "That's the way the world is." I knew she was right, and it made me realize for the first time that it wasn't my mom who was sexist or my school that was sexist; I thought to myself, "there will never be true equality until a girl can walk around alone at night without being afraid" and I knew that wouldn't happen for awhile, and, as you can imagine, it really bummed me out... it still bums me out! I didn't have the vocabulary for it then, but that's when I realized we live in a rape culture.
--the brevity of this is due to the fact that I originally wanted to put it under "changed beliefs" on my timeline, but "they" didn't "think" "a feminist" was a proper response to the field "became," so I'm posting it here instead
Maybe I considered myself a full-fledged feminist by the end of 8th grade, because the 8th grade yearbook said, in the part where they said what we'd be when we grew up, that I'd be a women's rights activist. Also, I remember this really really sad incident when I was 15 and my mom would let my brother walk around alone at night but she wouldn't let me do it, and when I asked her why, she said it was because I was a girl, and I said that was sexist and she said, "That's the way the world is." I knew she was right, and it made me realize for the first time that it wasn't my mom who was sexist or my school that was sexist; I thought to myself, "there will never be true equality until a girl can walk around alone at night without being afraid" and I knew that wouldn't happen for awhile, and, as you can imagine, it really bummed me out... it still bums me out! I didn't have the vocabulary for it then, but that's when I realized we live in a rape culture.
JIGSAW THIRTY--SOMETHINGS!!!
My therapist is a
feminist, and today she expressed that I'm making a really important
feminist statement by choosing not to have kids, when the supposed duty
of women to pro-create is still so profound in our culture. I told her
it was mainly because I didn't want to f*** up my medications that I take for schizo-affective disorder and didn't
feel capable of taking care of another human being 24/7 who was
completely dependent on me, not to mention the fact that one of the
reasons Tommy and I got married was that we both didn't want kids. My
therapist said it was still a feminist statement for a woman to even be
able to think in terms of not wanting children. And then it hit me: if I
met a woman with hairy armpits who kept her "maiden" name when she got
married who said she didn't want kids, my "feminist radar," if you will,
would go off.
So, put together like Kathleen Hanna's famous jigsaw, this is my brand of feminism. What's yours? For example, a woman could choose to HAVE children as part of her personal feminist creed, etc....
So, put together like Kathleen Hanna's famous jigsaw, this is my brand of feminism. What's yours? For example, a woman could choose to HAVE children as part of her personal feminist creed, etc....
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